Why do you write? Money vs. Purpose

Thankfully, I have a full-time job that pays my bills. I have, however, dreamed of one day being able to make a living off my writing. Couldn't I just write one best-seller novel? I start to salivate just thinking about it. Unfortunately, the more I dwell on that thought, the more that same old pride comes sneaking in through the back door.

Whether looking at my books or my shorter pieces, people often ask me if I'm making money off of my writing. And I have to admit that sometimes it's hard for me to tell them no, I barely make enough to buy myself lunch at Burger King every once in a while. I have a full-time job for a reason.

I can hardly imagine what it would be like to make money on my writing. But whenever I let myself focus on the income, the same thing always happens - my true purpose becomes clouded. Suddenly I "have" to write instead of wanting to. Suddenly I'm trying to make a buck instead of trying to inspire someone. Sure, I love receiving a royalty check! But should it be my goal?

"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil." I know a lot of people might take that Bible verse to the extreme, but that's not my point. (I'm also not in any way trying to knock professional writers. That's fantastic that they can make a living off their writing - kudos to them! If it weren't for them, we wouldn't have much to read!) For someone like me, who has been blessed with financial income by another means, wanting to make money from my writing can really start to steer me in the wrong direction. I begin to be frustrated when something isn't published. Or I might be frustrated if it is published but with no compensation. My want for money breeds frustration which breeds dissatisfaction. Then where is God? I've lost sight of Him and His reason for giving me the gift of writing in the first place.

When money is the focus, the real purpose, for me, is lost. I no longer write for my readers but I write for myself. My motive becomes a selfish one, resulting in dissatisfaction in my own writings, stress and lack of passion.

I realize that for some, writing IS their main source of income, and if they can make it work, more power to them. For me though, as long as God is taking care of me through other means, my writing can't become the bread-winner, lest I fall prey to greed.

My purpose is to write. Period.

Why do you write? Passion vs. Acknowledgement

So I figured out how to conquer my pride while writing my books. (See post below.) What about my shorter pieces? What about my poems? Devotionals? Short stories?

Once again, I found myself in the mud and mire of pride. This time though, it was a little different. Sometimes only a few people even see the shorter pieces I write. Sometimes I'm the only one that sees them. And there are some days that I stop and wonder what the point is, if no one reads them.

I've been involved with different writing groups that encourage the publication of writings. That's great. Everyone wants to see their writings in print, other than from their own personal printer. But for me, problems arose when I began to feel badly that I had nothing published during a certain length of time. I looked around and saw people whose complete purpose in writing was to be published, whether it was a book or a short article. If it was written, it needed to be published. I found myself feeling like the kid in the back of the room that hadn't yet bought the new toy everyone else had. It was almost a feeling of shame for not having gone out and contacted publications and sent out queries.

Once again, I had to take a step back and ask myself the same old question: Why was I writing? Why was I writing these short stories? Poems? Devotionals? If I visited one of my online writing groups, I'd be told to find a magazine, newspaper - anything! Just get my work out there and be seen. I suppose if my goal was to get my name out there, then that would be a logical place to start. But it just didn't feel right.

Why was I writing? I realized that I was writing simply because it's my passion. I don't care how many people read my poems. I don't care how many people read my short stories. God gave me a talent and all He's told me to do is write. Sure, if I ever do want other people to see what I write, then I have to get off my duff and work at it. But it shouldn't be my goal and certainly shouldn't be a stress factor. If God wants my articles to succeed in that manner, He will lead me.

When I look back over the last year and see how few writings of mine that have come to publication, my human reaction is to be depressed over it. I feel as though I have accomplished nothing. Well, that's stupid. Honestly. I have written a ton of short stories, poetry and more. I write almost every day. I have plot lines galore running through my head. I have poems and songs that I never even intend for the public to see. And I look down on myself for not accomplishing anything? It's at that point that I once again realize I let pride get in the way.

I write because it's my passion. I love it. God gave me a gift and I need to use it. What happens after that is up to Him.

Why do you write? The Many vs. The Few

I have a pride issue. It wasn't until recently that I finally realized and admitted it. Since then, it's become less of a problem, though I still battle it now and again, attempting to conquer it each time.

The realization of pride came about when I was, once again, debating what to do with a future novel of mine. I knew the plot I wanted to write. A third of the book was written already. I had everything laid out and ready to finish writing it. But I began to focus on the end result - the end result after "the end." Of course, my first desire was to dream of the book's publication. Those dreams were quickly shot down by my own realism though, as I thought about my last book that I self-published. That accomplishment is nothing to sneeze at, of course, though like most writers, I still wished for a "real" publisher. I hadn't had any luck thus far though, so my hopes for this newest novel of mine were quickly diminishing. I could self-publish again, no problem. But if I did, I'd be paying out of pocket... again. I'd be doing all the promotion myself... again. I'd be sitting at home with several boxes leftover of books I couldn't sell... again.

And then it hit me. Why was I writing this book? I first tried to justify my thoughts by reminding myself that if I were not to be published by a publishing house then I wouldn't have as many readers. And my goal was to have readers, right? But then I realized that even that theory was weak. Who was I to limit God? He could just as easily spread my book through self-publishing as He could through a big-house publisher. I was back to square one with my inner battle.

Why was I writing this book? I'd thought it was so I could find a publisher then reach a large audience. The problem was, that without believing that could happen, I lost my motivation to write. I "knew" I wouldn't be able to snag a publisher - I'd been ignored with my past attempts with various novels of mine. So what was the point?

Then God showed me His reason for me to complete my novel. It wasn't so I could become a famous author. It wasn't so I could reach millions. The answer was this: I was writing that book so that I could reach one. One person. One heart. It wouldn't matter if that person bought my book off the shelf of a big bookstore, or if they were given one of my draft copies, printed off from my computer. The reason for me writing my book was for one person to read it. Somehow, somewhere, there would be one person touched by the story I told.

After that, I was able to continue writing my novel. With my motives back where they belonged, the inner peace was back.

For me, writing my books can't be about the large audience, bookstores, booksignings, or even publication at all. It has to be about the story and about that one person who it is for - the one person for whom God will use my book, or rather, His book. If a big-house publisher publishes my book, fantastic. If ten thousand and one people read my book, fantastic. But for me, it all has to be icing on the cake, not my main goal. Otherwise I lose sight of my purpose and my passion dies.

Yesterday

Riding on the wind into a space where time doesn’t exist. Yesterday. Its paths, its choices, its rounds of applause – all gathered together in a neat bundle to be lost to the very hands of time which birthed it. A void, it seems…perhaps a black hole. Where memories are born because it is a time which no longer exists. For when looking upon it, we are indeed in a time beyond, never to grasp those feelings again. Never to behold those same majestic triumphs. Never to gaze upon our hearts in quite the same manner again. For it was yesterday.

As predictably as the sun rises and sets, so too do the passing hours evolve into a day forgotten – a day which can never be gained, never be earned, and never be touched. A day that we might wish to frame to be remembered for eternity. Or a day that we might wish never to look upon again, cursing the very memory.

Yesterday. We have no choice in the matter. For today is where we stand, no matter how hard we try to bend the hands of time. No matter how much we may want to relive, or perhaps take back – it is lost. And if we were capable of returning to that precious point in time, would we indeed choose a different path? Or have the consequences born of that moment turned our minds and forced us to grow, making us realize that no matter the desperation…yesterday must remain untouched?

Today is the eternity we longed for yesterday. Tomorrow is the forever we long for today. And this very hour must be lived with the knowledge that it can never be breathed again. For it too will be lost. It too will be but yesterday, riding on the wind into a space where time doesn’t exist.

The First Sentence

If someone asked me what the most difficult part of writing a novel was, I might say it's writing the very first sentence - or the first sentence after writer's block has had its way with my mind.

I recently picked up a novel of mine that I had started to write over five years ago. At the time, I wrote about 30,000 words then stopped when I got a new idea for a different novel. This particular unfinished work sat unfinished for years. I often thought about it but for some reason, wasn't ready to pick it back up again.

Eventually, I did. I read through the plot, made some changes and I laid it all out, using my favorite "sticky note" method. But even after that, I had yet to type the first words that would come after where I'd left off years prior.

Strange as it may sound, writing those first words can be the scariest. It's starting over again. It's the first step in saying "I'm still dedicated to this book." It's setting up the possibility that I may never be able to finish the work for one reason or another.

Thankfully, with this certain book, I successfully started writing it again. I've gained 2,000 words and more is coming. After I finally got started again, I'm rediscovering the joy of the plot I thought of so long ago.

Sometimes when I start a book, I get the same feeling. I can have it all laid out perfectly and know exactly where I want the plot to go, but typing those first words... it's like free falling into an icy river - a thrill but once I hit, I've got to swim to survive.

The first sentence... maybe the hardest, but also the most thrilling.

Writing doesn't have to be lonely.

Just home from my monthly meeting with the Southwest Iowa Writers Guild. Always a pleasure. I'll admit, sometimes it's difficult convincing myself it's worth it. I get home, I'm tired, I haven't written anything I deem worthwhile, and I have a short stack of pieces from other guild members that I've been meaning to critique for four weeks - not exactly the most inspirational setting. But every time I go, I'm reminded of why I'm a member.

I didn't used to think that being a part of a writers' group was important. I figured that if I got positive feedback on my writings from a few sources that I was good to go. And maybe I could still succeed that way, but I'd be missing out. I'd be missing out on the simple one-on-one interaction with people who share some of the same passions as I do. I'd be missing out on the fun of discussing new ideas and delving into the "whys" of writing. I'd be missing out on giving my fellow members pats on the backs for their accomplishments. I'd be missing out on sharing my writings with people who understand the time and effort it took.

Being a part of a club or a guild or a critique circle isn't a must when it comes to being a writer. I'm not exactly what you'd call a "people person" and groups of people, well... they're just not my thing. But I love my guild. We're a small, diverse group, all of whom are at different stages of life. But we all have the common ground of being writers. That's what makes it worth it, to me. That's why I cram in the last minute work before I rush off to the meetings. That's why I go, even if I didn't come up with anything to share that month.

If you're a writer and you're plugged in to a group like I am, I'm happy for you. If you're not, I hope you will find the opportunity to be! Writing doesn't have to be lonely.

Communicating Via Keyboard

Communication, when successfully performed, will result in two or more individuals fully understanding each other. Generally, the most efficient form of communication is face-to-face. Why? Because there is much more involved than mere words.

You may have observed that when speaking with another individual, you read them not only by what they say, but how they say it, what their eyes are doing during the verbal exchange, and how their body is positioned as they speak. Body language and tone are as vital to clear communication as is word choice.

Over the years, methods of communication have morphed from face-to-face into a long list. We can write letters, talk over the phone, send instant messages, exchange emails or use videophones. We can send texts and pictures through cyberspace at lightning speed. We can even use paintings and sculptures to communicate. But when it comes to a one-on-one conversation, beware: without hearing one's voice or seeing their eyes, correct usage of language is vital for understanding.

Today, it seems, the majority of communication has shifted towards emails, text messages and online communities like Facebook. These are some of the most dangerous areas for communication to exist because it's too easy to become sloppy with our writing. It's easy to begin abbreviating, using fewer words and skipping punctuation. It's faster. It appears to be more precise. But in reality, it has made us lazy and caused more miscommunication than the speed is worth. Let me give you just a couple small examples.

I might type to someone (email, Facebook, text message or other):

"I'll meet you after work."

The other person might respond:

"Oh ok."

What does that response really mean? Does it mean, "Oh! Ok." Or does it mean, "Oh... ok." ?

The first option would indicate surprise and evoke a pleasant feeling, all because of a little exclamation point. The second would indicate hesitation and lack of enthusiasm, all because of a little ellipsis. Now, had we been standing face to face, I would have seen a facial expression. I would have seen eyes and shoulders to automatically know which emotion was being felt. Even if the conversation had happened over the phone, there would have been tone and voice inflection.

Here's another one.

I might type:

"I got the promotion I wanted."

The response might be:

"Great"

Hmm... are they excited or jealous or just plain don't care? This one's a little trickier because an exclamation point would immediately solve the question. "Great!" probably means they're excited for me. A simple period or no punctuation results in wondering if perhaps they wanted that promotion instead of me or maybe they're just distracted. If they're not all that excited, but they genuinely feel good for me, they could respond with, "Great. So proud of you." How easy is that? Or are their thumbs too tired? Again, if face-to-face there would be no question as to how they felt about my news.

I could make a whole list of examples, but here's my point: adding punctuation and/or taking the time to add a few extra words can and will result in much more efficient communication. In our culture, we have grown rushed and/or lazy. We are too busy to communicate properly, or we're just plain lazy and don't want to bother. Let the other person figure it out. They know us, right? They should understand what we're saying. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way. Fights can start over the absence of a comma...and I'm not kidding.

Communicating through type/text is something that needs to be taken more seriously. The world needs to cease laziness and ignorance, and begin paying attention to proper grammar and punctuation. Maybe in school it didn't seem to make sense, and perhaps it even seemed silly. But it's now being proven that a lack of knowledge, or the refusal to use that knowledge, results in miscommunication over and over and over again. Why continue?

Use punctuation - if you don't have a good grasp on punctuation, learn. Add the necessary words. Take ten seconds more and avoid the stress of miscommunication. We all have the time for that.

Not Just When I'm in Trouble

Cody (our German Shepherd) has a fear of thunderstorms. A bit funny for a retired K-9, but nevertheless, if a storm is coming our way and he hears the thunder, he's whining at the door. He's an outside dog, though, so we simply have to tell him to go in his doghouse.

The other day, a storm was rolling in. It hadn't reached us yet, but the wind was picking up, and the thunder began to rumble. I was working in my flower garden (where the dogs are not allowed), and all of a sudden, Cody was right there. He wouldn't leave me! Normally, he sticks closely to the head of the house, and I'm just his playmate. But since Daddy was gone, all of a sudden, I was the one Cody wanted.

I shooed him out of the garden more than once, but came right back, sticking to me like clue as the thunder rolled. Chores came next and I had to get the horses in, so I took to the paddock then the barn. Lo and behold, there was Cody right there again, staying close and even trying to play with me a couple times.

The storm came, he had to stay outside, and afterward, he was no worse for wear. But it got me thinking about us and God. I like to run to God when there are storms in my life. He's my shelter and He's got it all under control. But where am I after the storm?

It seems we often like to live our lives the way we want - with us in control. Then all of a sudden when something goes wrong, we run to God. But how must He feel the rest of the time? Is He only the shelter when we're in trouble?

My experience with Cody was humorous, no doubt. But in the end, I think I was taught a good lesson as well. I want to stick close to God all the time, not just when I'm in trouble. It's a two-way street, and I want to be His friend.

Show, don't tell. Misuse of term?

For a long time now, "show, don't tell" has been emphasized over and over in the writing realm. And while I understand the concept, I've realized that the term itself seems to have skewed the meaning of what it really is.

According to those who use the term "show, don't tell," telling is writing with few details, basically reciting a story on a surface level, while showing is writing with details that bring the reader to an understanding of what's really happening so they can envision it in their mind.

At first glance, the term seems to fit quite appropriately. But on closer inspection, I've realized that it really doesn't make that much sense. (Remember, I'm talking about the term, not the concept.) Movies show. Picture books show. But do words really show?

To give an example of what people mean by "show, don't tell," if I wrote, "She was angry," that really doesn't give readers much to visualize - they have to imagine everything themselves, which may or may not fit what the scene is trying to get across. But if I wrote, "She clenched her fists as her eyes burned with cold fury," the reader will receive a whole new picture. The character is livid. She's more than just angry and now we can visualize her expression and depth of anger.

From other writers I've talked to, they would express that my above demonstration is one of "show, don't tell" because of the difference in details between the two sentences. However... are not both sentences telling? You see, written words are just that. They are letters that form words that form concepts on flat pieces of paper (or screens as it were). Every detail is a form of telling. For how can a story be told in writing without telling?

Here's where I think I differ from the popular term. Let's use my above example. "She clenched her fists as her eyes burned with cold fury." What about, "She squeezed the muscles in her fingers in order to form a fist and applied pressure while her eyes displayed her inner feelings wrought with a burning of cold fury." Or what about, "She willed her brain to signal the nerves and muscles within her fingers so that they would clench and fold in at the knuckles to grip the flesh of her palm..." Or what about, "She processed what to do next and her thoughts became a command to her brian to signal the nerves and muscles within her ten fingers in order to bend at the knuckles and move the bones therein, shaping a fist to grip the flesh of her palm through which the blood flowed..."

See where I'm going with this? Where do the details stop? If "show, don't tell," truly means just that, then how much showing is required until it is satisfactory?

But we both know that the point isn't how much detail, but the quality of detail. And this is where I think the key lies. You see, it's really not about showing. Written words cannot show. We say they "paint pictures" and we say that they "create vivid scenes," and it's true - the words put pieces together in the action of "painting" and "creating." But in reality, it is the reader's mind that forms a visual of the end result, not the words. The only thing the words can do is stimulate the brain into forming the correct picture for the reader to see.

Therefore, the term, "show, don't tell," basically doesn't work. I can't show you anything with my written words. I can only tell it in a way that you will see it in your mind.

The concept of "show, don't tell," is very clear and easy to grasp. But the term itself, I believe, is misused. Because of this, if I were to advise any other writer, I would tell them to, "don't just tell - tell with detail."

My conclusion? I think the concept of "show, don't tell" is most certainly valid and a very important part of quality writing. However, I do believe the term is used incorrectly and should it be explained to a novice writer, one should take care in explaining the meaning of the term, not just using examples to back it up.

Online Presence

Trying to keep up with a website, Facebook and this blog can sometimes be a challenge. Though traffic is minimal at this point, I do hope to generate a more regular following. While it seems pointless to update something which people are not yet reading, without the updates, no one would take interest. And thus, one of the many, many circles we encounter.

I did recently revamp my website and the look will probably stay for a while. I wanted something a little more chipper than the earth tones of my previous look, and the purples attach it somewhat to this blog. Keeping a website looking fresh and new is key to grabbing the interest of passing visitors. Making sure all information is current is also a must.

Facebook is all the rage right now, and I must admit that I'm surprised it has lasted this long. As a free service, it would be silly to not take advantage, so I'm trying to keep up with my very own page. Some days this may simply mean updating the photo. Other days it may mean keeping people informed of my current writing ventures and statuses. Even if it's just a link to a recent FaitWriters article, each update is important as it will show up on the home walls of those who "like" my page.

Paid advertising may be an option for some. For me, at this point, it is not. For those that can take advantage of this though, it may provide even more traffic, generating even more interest in what you have to offer - another reason to ensure that your online content is updated and current.

There are days when my writing consists only of online tasks. Even so, I count it as I would any writing exercise. When inspiration for articles or books lacks, what better way to spend my writing time than keeping up with my online pages?

Nutshell

Ahhhh, the weekend. Though there is a lot to do during the next couple days, it still feels nice not to have to go in to work until Monday.

Writing has not progressed much for me. The heat persists. Whether that's the main contributor to my writer's block or not, I'm unsure. I did enter the FW Challenge again last week with my entry The Scent of a Memory. It didn't do very well (placement wise) but at least the feedback was nice. This week's topic is "Discern." Don't know if I'll have the inspiration to enter on that one or not, but we'll see.

Today has been a day of many scrambled thoughts about PublishAmerica. They continue to bombard their authors with emails full of gimmicks and "deals." Their latest strategies include some "interesting" bait surrounding Barnes & Noble. Many are unsure as to how much of what they say is true, though I imagine much of it is simply worded in such a way to make it seem great to authors. However, I have to say that their latest offer to be a go-between for authors and Barnes & Noble takes the cake. They are pushing authors to buy books in order to submit questions or suggestions to Barnes & Noble... I thought that was something any individual could do.

At any rate, that's my current writing world in a nutshell. Until next time, stay cool and let writing take its course, whether speedy or slow.

Heat wave

10:00 at night and it's still 86º out. I love summer, but when sweat starts dripping on my keyboard, I start wishing for a cool breeze.

The heat seems to sap all of my energy and creativity. I find myself staring at a blank page, wanting desperately to fill it with vivid word pictures, and yet nothing seems to come. I know it will pass, along with this heat wave, but I have to admit that it's frustrating.

This and That

I am extremely glad that it is Friday evening. It has been quite a long week - busy and tiring. But with the start of the weekend, it means a little bit of catch-up rest is in order...that and learning how to use the riding lawnmower.

My FaithWriters recent Challenge entry, I Want, didn't place, but I received a lot of nice comments. Sometimes it's a short story that comes to mind, and other times I'm inspired with a poem. I recently asked others if perhaps my poetry was just an easy way out because at times it has felt as though I've whipped out a poem simply because I couldn't get a short story written in time. The overall response I received was thought-provoking. I now see that no matter how God chooses to inspire me, it isn't an "out" or me being lazy. I must realize that while my "norm" might be short stories or devotionals, who am I to direct the inspiration that God provides? So one new goal of mine is to embrace the inspiration that comes to me and not fight it, whether it's a short story, devotional or a poem.

The latest news I have of PublishAmerica doesn't come as much of a surprise. From what I can tell, there are more and more authors starting to question PublishAmerica's methods (or madness as it were). I have seen many complaints lately, mostly pertaining to book prices. While PublishAmerica stands firmly on their way of business, when delving deeper, it just doesn't make a whole lot of sense to the authors.

As a side note, I may be entering the world of Taekwondo. I've always wanted to learn some form of Marshal Art and a friend has convinced me to try it out. My introductory lesson is over a week away and I'm already nervous, but I'm pretty sure that I'll sign up for regular lessons. The stress-relief and exercise alone will make it worthwhile, and who knows... I might gain some new fodder for a future book.

Pains of Change

It's August, folks. Each time a new month rolls around, I wonder where the last one went. July went by in such a rush that I can hardly remember what has happened the last four weeks.

The turning of months makes me think of change. I recently wrote a nice little short story about change and how it can be good and something to look forward to. Unfortunately, it did not describe me! I fight change kicking and screaming the whole way. I've never liked changed and I dare say I never will.

But...

Liking or not liking it isn't the point. It's how I deal with it that's the main thing. I can stomp my feet, yell and scream and shake my fist in the air, but it's not going to modify the situation at all. The only thing it might accomplish is a rise in my blood pressure.

Learning to be still and rely on God while amidst change (good or bad) seems a daunting task. But with each day that passes, I try my best to gain ground on that goal. Sometimes change isn't good and attitudes need to morph so that we can accept what's happening and deal with it. Sometimes change is necessary, even if it's painful. Sometimes change is directly from God when He's trying to steer us in a new direction for His purposes.

I need to remember this more often, even in relation to my writing. Perhaps when I meet those brick walls, something needs to change, whether it's content, perspective or direction. But I need not worry about where that change will take me, because in the end, I'll still be writing for the Lord, and that is the whole point, right?

Conduit

"We ain't nothing but a conduit," or so the Newsboys claim. That's a new favorite line of mine - I'll have to print it out and tape it to my wall.

I like it because it reminds me of what I am when it comes to writing. Oh, I let pride get in my way, I focus on the wrong things, and I strive for goals that are my own. But when I get a gentle slap upside the head, I shake it off and realize once again where my sights should be. And it's in those times that I see that yes, I ain't nothing but a conduit - a conduit for God's words through my pen (or keyboard, as it were). Therefore, what on earth am I doing, trying to put myself on a pedestal? I spend my time writing about focusing on God, being still and letting Him do the worrying, and doing HIS will. I just need to remember it for my own life more often.

Speaking of conduits, I did enter FaithWriters' Challenge this week, on the topic of "See." Next week after everything is "all clear," I will post a link to that particular piece. The current topic is "Smell." No real inspiration coming at me yet, but maybe by Wednesday I'll have figured something out.

Until next time...don't be a barrier - be a conduit.

Wiser and Tougher

When the tough get going...well, you know the phrase. Me, I sometimes take a nosedive first, then pick up the pieces until the toughness returns. Once it does though, goals begin to appear through the fog once more.

In my yet-to-be-published novel writing guide, I wrote a section about timing. I fear sometimes I struggle to take my own advice. I wind up getting excited about the future and I want to see what God has in store NOW. Unfortunately, He doesn’t normally work that way.

When it comes to writing, sometimes my goals become blurred. It might be my own lack of confidence, or it might be me trying to strive for things that may bring me glory here, but would not make God any happier with me than He is now. Then, somewhere out of the blue, I receive a gentle reminder (sometimes it feels more like a whack upside the head) that God’s plans are bigger than this – He sees what I cannot, He is the one that guides me and it is for Him that I should be writing, not for fame or fortune.

I recently experienced several disappointments and struggled to maintain a firm grip on my love of writing. It seemed my goals were slipping from my grasp. But when I really stopped to think about it, I realized that what I thought were my goals really weren’t. I had simply become sidetracked.

Now I pick up the pieces and move on, a little wiser and maybe a little tougher. In the end, it really is God’s timing and that is something I can’t change, but can only learn to embrace.

The Fall After Pride

Pride cometh before a fall. I've known that phrase probably my whole life. Now, I'm one to have very little confidence sometimes. Oh, I'm bullheaded and when I get set in my way of doing things, I don't like to change. But when I'm up against some situations or tasks, I'd rather go hide in some hole somewhere.

It's especially hard when the fall comes after I've been told by others to be proud of what I have accomplished. I then feel like saying, "I told you so - I knew I couldn't do it." I want to ask, "Why did you insist I feel good about something destined to fail?"

Oh, I'm durable and sure to bounce back. But maybe there are just some things I'm not meant for.

Long Day

It's been a very long day. I feel like I've been run over by a truck, but if asked, I might not be able to say what exactly it was that went wrong or made the hours drag by so.

The new Challenge topic over at FaithWriters is "See." I missed out on "Hear" and "Taste," unable to dig up inspiration. Maybe this week though. I need to enter more again - most of my shorter pieces are born through the Challenges and later I do want to publish my collection.

Things with PublishAmerica have been heating up and I'm sorry to say that it's not going in their authors' favors, including mine. Live and learn and press forward. In the meantime, I've revised my page about PublishAmerica, so you can check that out.

And while my mind is drifting a million miles away, it's probably a good time to shut down for the night.

Busy Mind

God has given me a brain that likes to think a hundred miles per hour about a thousand different things. Sometimes it's good and other times it can be frustrating. When my mind tries to dwell on too many things at once, I end up being forgetful, absent minded or even miss parts of conversations, leaving the other party just as frustrated as I.

On one hand, my mind is indeed formed in such a way that it's a motivation when I have a plethora of things going on at once. On the other hand, I need to learn to focus.

Sometimes I have to force myself to just do one thing at a time, which automatically forces me to focus on just one thing. Sometimes I just need some fresh air to clear my mind and get back on track. Sometimes music even helps.

In the end, I know that I need to be grateful for the kind of brain God has given me, and learn to use it the best I can in order to succeed at the tasks He's given me.

Now where did I put my pen...

A Saturated Industry

In today's world, just about anyone can be a published author - truly. There are now countless publishers who are willing to publish anyone's book for a price. They even offer package deals with everything imaginable from editing to design to marketing. Some companies' package deals even start for free!

For many people, their dream is to simply see their name in print and hold their own book in their hands. It's an exciting feeling and one I have experienced myself. While some parts of the process become "old hat," even after my fourth published novel, I'm still a giddy schoolgirl on the inside when I think about holding my next book.

From that perspective, this new wave of technology is wonderful. Who would have known that someone's grandma could finally have a book published? Or teenagers still learning how to write? Or that shy neighbor down the street whom you didn't even know liked to write? Yes, technology has brought us a long way, enabling many companies to spring up and produce books quicker and cheaper, and in turn, enabling them to offer solutions to just about anybody.

And yet, there is another side to this reality. It is a side that must be approached not with pride, but simply a realistic perspective in order to maintain balance.

While it may seem grand that anyone may now be a published author, it is becoming harder and harder to find the ones that are truly master craftsmen. Now that the possibilities are endless, more and more writers are popping up everywhere. Traditional publishers are now so overwhelmed that they put limits on published titles per year and many have closed their doors to new authors, no matter how good a manuscript is. They want nothing to do with unsolicited submissions, and authors are left needing agents just to get their foot in the door. In the meantime, all of the new publishers that charge and print on demand gain more and more authors. As a result, bookstore shelves overflow with a plethora of new titles, some good and some poor. But how is the consumer to decide which is which? Better yet, how is a traditional publisher to sort through all the manuscripts they receive day after day to find the ones worthy of publication?

As the market becomes saturated with books of lesser quality, chances of great writers shining through diminish. Think of it in terms of a field of corn, overridden with weeds. As you stare across the mass of twisted stems and thistles, where are the few corn stalks that are left? Where are the few ears of corn worthy to be harvested? It's hard to make them out.

So too is the world of published books. As more and more books are distributed into the market, the harder it is to find the good ones. And from a true writer's perspective, it is a daunting task to try and rise above the sea of new authors.

Writing books and becoming a published author, so far, still impresses the public. It's still something special and always something to be proud of. But for how long? Will this change, the more new books and new authors are introduced? Will soon writing a book be no more praiseworthy than writing an essay for school?

The pros and cons to this developing industry may never change. But it's an interesting subject to contemplate.

Blocks and Mush

It's another hot day out there. Once again, I wanted to do a bunch of writing, but the heat just seems to turn my brain to mush. But, even though it can be frustrating, I've learned the best thing to do is let the writing take a break for a while. If I don't, it will simply be forced and the result will not be my best work.

Writer's block or a weary mind shouldn't get the writer down. Of course, it's different for everyone - some writers are under time constraints of contracts or other deadlines. But those of us who simply want to get that article or book done now... sometimes it's better to take a breather and set the pen down for a little while.

Ice cream anyone?

Nothing New

Tonight as I was starting to read Ecclesiastes, I ran across the verses that emphasize there is nothing new under the sun. How true! Not only is that important to realize in life, but I think it's also important to remember while writing.

There truly is nothing new out there. Just look at all the books you've read or the movies you've seen. How many of them have similar core plots? The details may be different, but often times the plot lines are very close to those of other titles.

When working on writing a book or even a short piece, making it unique is key. And while it may be nearly impossible to create something that is 100% unique, the fine details are what will draw readers' attention. Be creative. How are your characters different? How is the setting different? What surprises might the plot hold?

Heat

Hot, hot, hot! I don't have a thermometer in my room/office, but maybe that's a good thing. It feels about 90, though the humidity contributes to the heat index. Living without air conditioning usually doesn't bother me, but it's a hot one today and it looks like it will be like this the rest of the week too.

After much deliberation, I have been working on this blog all day, switching over to use blogspot instead of my other domain. The other templates just weren't working well and I wanted to free up my domain name as well. So after my big announcement that my blog was revamped... I will have to announce it again. Such is life.

I set out to do a lot of writing today but wound up too lethargic in this heat to even think straight. There's always tomorrow. And if tomorrow doesn't come, that means I'm with Jesus and I don't have to worry about my writings anymore anyway.

Music, Music, Music

Am I the only one that listens to a new favorite song over and over and over… and over? I tend to do that when I find a new song I love. Eventually I wear it out and I have to move on, but quite often I’m known to hit the “back” button on the music player just to hear it again. Right now, I’ve got two new favorites: Burn for You and Tonight, both by TobyMac.

Sometimes I do the same thing while I write. I’ll find a song that fits the feelings of the scene I’m writing (or my own feelings as I write it), and that’s the theme song for that particular scene - or more. Some people might find music distracting, but I find it helpful, whether I’m working, walking or writing.

(Side note: my cloud picture from yesterday was picked as a “favorite” by KETV on their webpage. How neat is that?)

Clouds

A storm rolled through last night and I was able to snap some pictures of the awesome clouds that went overhead.

I was able to upload one of the pictures to our local news station’s website. Check it out: Marshmallow Clouds

God certainly creates some neat looking clouds.

A Thought for Today

My finger is recovering after almost tearing loose my fingernail. My toe is recovering after running over it with a desk chair (yes, while sitting in it - go figure). My neck is not so sore anymore from having an impromptu wrestling match with my brother. My sunburn is healing and itching like crazy. Now… can I please stop doing these silly things?

Sometimes I want to say the same thing about the sins in my life. Why don’t I just stop and think sometimes? It can get frustrating. The good news is, God is a forgiving God and when I come before Him and confess, every time, He is there with open arms of love. His mercy is the bandaid for my life’s mess-ups.

…Can someone pass the Bengay and sun screen?

Another Day...

Another day has passed. I was unable to come up with an article for this week’s FaithWriters Challenge… Maybe next week.

Tonight is filled with passing storms - I love watching the clouds roll in and thanking God for the awesome nature. I’m learning to keep my camera on hand.

A very hot day… a very long day. I am ready to retire for the night.

Revamped

I think I like the new look - perhaps getting started on revamping my blog will encourage me to keep writing more. I love being creative online and working with websites. Though I only know the basics, I love making something look better and making it more effective for its purposes while keeping it visually appealing at the same time.

A few more additions and I’ll be spreading the word that my blog is back with a new look.

Goal

I have a new goal… well, it’s not new, just brought up once again. After struggling to keep up with a blog for the last few years, I think it’s finally time I actually did it. Whether just saying a short line or two, or giving lengthy details, my goal is to continue writing here more frequently than normal to keep up with anyone who reads. Thanks for your patience thus far!

As far as my actual writing world goes, The Foundation of Novel Writing is in its finishing stages, and only finances are holding it back from publication right now.

Spring!

April is coming and going quicker than I can keep up with it. The Iowa Reading Conference in Des Moines went well. I had a good time presenting my workshop and was able to sell some books. How encouraging to know that all four of my novels are being donated to a church library.

My writing continues. Novel work remains in the back of my mind, while I focus on some shorter stories and my Foundation of Novel Writing guide. Spring has brought on some new creativity. If only there were more hours in a day!

A journey to Nebraska next week may open up another door to speak to a book club, so I’m looking forward to seeing what God has in mind for that opportunity. Also Writer’s Guild coming up this month. I’ve missed the last couple meetings, so I’m hoping I can make it to this one and see my writer friends again.

The nicer weather has pulled me outside lately and I’m enjoying some time out with myself and God while working in my garden, or just sitting and enjoying the sunset. How great and mighty He is.

March News

Winter has been long. Writer’s block has been even longer. But slowly, as spring begins to show itself, the creativity starts to churn once again.

The Foundation of Novel Writing is coming along nicely - text and cover design. I’m excited to have beefed it up with more information, and I’m looking forward to promoting it once it’s in print.

Great news - Matthew’s Bible Stories: Noah and the Big Boat is now in print! A project of Deaf Missions, I’m proud that the children’s book I wrote is now available to the public and it looks great. Just the start of the series, I’m hoping that it will gain a lot of interest.

Though I haven’t been around here much, I’m still writing and still plugging away at life. Yes, the winter has been long. But brighter days are ahead.

2010

Can’t believe it’s 2010. Everyone says they can’t believe where 2009 has gone, so I won’t say it here too. What I will say though, is that I’m excited to see what God’s got in store for me this year.

I’m glad to say that I had a boost in sales for my books near Christmas. Whether it was through friends or strangers who found my website, I was happy to distribute more copies. Someone asked me the other day how my marketing was going. I told them “good enough for me.” And it is.

On the upside, I’ve been asked to present a workshop at the Iowa Reading Conference in Des Moines in April. This will be the biggest event I will have spoken at so far, so it’s very exciting. I’m already starting to plan what topics I will be covering.

Still writing. Still working. Still living. Updates to follow.