On the Other Hand...

Back in May of this year, I blogged my thoughts about writing emotional things, even if one is afraid the words won't do justice. Often times, great pieces are born, giving the reader a glimpse into the writer's own emotions. On the other hand, sometimes it's okay not to attempt the inevitable pit of muddled thoughts, which emotions have the ability to create. There are times when words of mouth or pen cannot adequately express the thoughts of one's heart.

And that's okay.

While I would encourage anyone to write what they feel, sometimes it just cannot do justice. And if trying to write feelings becomes more of a frustration than a release, it should probably be set aside.

As humans, we are granted the blessing of emotions. Sometimes they can seem like a curse. But generally speaking, feeling things is what we do best. Emotions can drive us forward. They can scare us away. They can inspire us. Bring us to tears. Make us laugh. And they can also lie to us. We are all walking bundles of rampant emotions, held together under a thin shell of skin. Sometimes these feelings explode under the pen and our words can portray the beauty of what we are experiencing on the inside. And sometimes, what goes on in our hearts simply cannot be put into any words of any language. It's a language only God understands. It's a language only the bearer can interpret - and at times, even one's own interpreting can be a daunting task.

Being a writer, when I feel strong emotions, I want to express them on paper. I want to share them. I want others to see what I see and feel what I feel through my written words. But there are days when I must sit back to privately cherish and ponder my emotions without marring them by trying to explain them.

So on one hand, I'd say yes! By all means! Write what you feel! Let it out and let others envelop themselves in your interpretations. And on the other hand, I'd say allow your emotions to dwell only within your heart. For some emotions are meant for you and you alone.

There are days I must write, in order to keep my emotions from bubbling over and causing chaos. And there are days when I must refrain from being a writer, lest I lose the treasure of what I hold inside.

Muscle Memory

Being involved with martial arts has made me view many things very differently - not just my physical abilities, but other, everyday tasks, too. One action in particular is the building and usage of muscle memory. Teaching my muscles to perform the same techniques over and over and over again can, at times, seem boring. In the end though, when confronted or taken by surprise, my muscles will remember what to do, and they will perform without me taking extra time to think about it. But only if I've taken time to practice.

As life has kept me away from writing as much as I want (or as much as I should), I have begun to realize the importance of "muscle memory" within my writing. When writing every day, my mind remains fresh. I am able to stretch my imagination further and train myself to think creatively and out of the box. One might think in order to maintain sanity, a break would be necessary. And sometimes that's true. But as a general rule, a writer must write...and write...and write. Not only to simply get all those thoughts that are dying to be shared down on paper, but also to remain in the habit of forming words out of the intangible plots that flow through one's mind.

I often fail at this practice. I usually have a good excuse, no doubt. Right now, I'm settling into a new apartment. With everything involved in packing, moving and unpacking (on top of life's normal roller coasters), it's a wonder I have any sanity left at all. Sometimes my excuse is writer's block - a very real complication. Sometimes my excuse is health-related. But with all my great reasons for not sitting down at my keyboard, I still need to make time to write. Just one paragraph. Even one sentence! I'm preaching to myself here, but it's a good reminder for any writer. For when we fail to write...fail to practice...fail to continually stretch our imagination...our creativity grows stagnant. We forget how to make time. We forget the joy of accomplishing a written task. We forget how to relate to our fictional characters. We become rusty in a very short amount of time. Without continually building the "muscle memory" of writing often, those writing "muscles" forget how to function.

The theory of muscle memory can be applied to many aspects of life. I've just chosen to relate it, here, to writing. As in my martial arts training where I practice techniques over and over, so too, do I need to keep up with my writing skills, lest I forget. Writing should remain a habit. A reflex. A thought process that is continually used.

Proof It

I'll be the first to admit that my spelling and/or grammar is not 100% accurate 100% of the time, especially when typing in a hurry. However, when writing here, on Facebook or my website, I try my best to have neat and proper writing. The public is viewing - I want to give a good impression, not a bad one.

While I understand the difficulties of always appearing topnotch online as far as writing goes, I cannot express how disappointed I have been, over and over, when viewing websites, blogs and Facebook pages. Whether the pages are advertising a product, marketing an art, or showing off a great talent, no matter how intriguing the content, when I begin seeing the typos and misspellings, I'm immediately turned off. It's not that I'm unforgiving when it comes to making mistakes - I make them, too! But when an online page has the same kinds of mistakes over and over again, it becomes obvious to me that either the owner is uneducated (and therefore cannot be trusted with whatever they're marketing), or they don't care enough to correct mistakes or have someone proof their work - which leads me to believe that they don't care enough about their product/hobby/whatever to at least present it neatly. 

I know that sloppy writing and chatspeak are becoming more and more common online, but that's a poor excuse to fall into that same sloppiness. When I visit a website that has clear words, correct spelling and grammar, and communicates well, I'm much more apt to look at what they have to offer - information or product. The same goes for blogs and Facebook pages. When I visit a site that is riddled with amateurish mistakes, such as substituting "there" for "they're" or "it's" for "its" or "lose" for "loose" I immediately assume this person or company has little business advertising anything. Again, I make mistakes, too. We all do. But to have pages riddled with these mistakes is quite a turnoff. (This also includes lack of capitalization, which bugs me even more because that really is pure laziness.)

I'm sure that I'm a bit more sensitive to this kind of thing since I'm a writer, and I'm in the habit of constantly proofing. But I know I'm not the only one with this perspective. I'm not the only one who notices poor communication via bad (or lazy) spelling/grammar. When I go to a blog, I expect to find articles that, even if poorly built, contain good spelling and grammar. When I visit a website to read information or search for a product, I expect an even higher level of professionalism - after all, I may be there to spend my money and I want to make sure it's worth it. When I visit a Facebook page (not a personal timeline - I'm talking about pages that advertise or display information on a specific activity, product or interest), I expect, again, to see something that at least shows me the creator is educated enough to be sharing their information. 

The bottom line is that when I see poor spelling and grammar multiple times in the same online location, I will, at least, roll my eyes or, at most, deem the creator as lazy or uneducated. 

If you're someone who struggles with spelling and grammar, yet you regularly write online, I urge you to find someone to proof your work before posting it. There's no shame in asking for a little bit of help! The result will please your audience much more and gain you higher respect. Not to mention, it will probably help you improve your own skills. 

If you're someone who knows good and well how to write professionally and you've spotted mistakes within this article, by all means, tell me! I'm also trying to improve and I know that I'm nowhere near perfect. But I do strive for perfection, which probably doesn't help when I'm reading other people's works. 

Here's hoping for fewer sites and pages with spelling and grammar that make us cringe. 

I'm No Salesman

Here's the thing: I'd rather give away all my books than sell them. It's just the way I am. It's not that I can't tell someone it's $15.00 to buy my novel, but if I'm speaking to the person face-to-face, nine times out of ten I know them personally. And if I know them personally, well...I just want to be nice and give them a book to enjoy and not make them pay for it. I know I can't afford much - who says they can?

And thus, the never-ending roller coaster of balancing what I want to do and what I need to do.

The unfortunate truth is that the economy is not doing so hot right now, and as such, most people are pinching pennies whether they want to or not. Food or fun? While I have to admit that sometimes I'd rather spend money on food than nutrition, lots of families simply can't do that. "Here, this book is my gift to you. Enjoy." It slides so easily off the tongue, doesn't it?

But here's the other unfortunate truth: I can't keep on writing and self-publishing if I don't at least sell a few of my books. I don't earn enough money in my day job to do that. It would be nice. It's just not my current reality. Thankfully, I've had many people who have been willing to purchase one or more of my books. Granted, now I have to file taxes for a small business, but at least it keeps my head above water after all my expenses are paid.

So now I've got four novels, the first one out of print already, one anthology, and a devotion book and new novel still unfinished in my computer. There's not really a whole lot to make money there. To compensate, I've taken on a new hobby of creating items with my abstract art or other nifty designs. I go to craft sales and try to sell my wares in the hopes that, again, I'll keep my head above water and make up for my craft expenses and keep funding my writing ventures. So far, what I've earned has helped very little, but I'd rather have some help than no help. In the end, I'm still more comfortable giving away my books rather than selling them. Both my books and crafts are, thankfully, hobbies, not my livelihood.

Here's the real thing though...I firmly believe God blesses me because I'm willing to share what I have. I'm willing to share a talent I wouldn't have, were it not for Him in the first place. How can I feel good about charging someone a fee to read words that were a free gift to me? Now, I know that there's nothing wrong with me putting a price tag on my books, or recouping some of my expenses. I don't think God expects me to go broke on this principle. But I do know my attitude affects this overall experience. I don't think I'd want to be so hard-nosed that I wouldn't give a book away for free. I don't think I'd want to be so rigid that I couldn't give a book to someone who really couldn't afford it. I want to share those words! Who knows who might enjoy that story, or who it might encourage?

Just today, my order of promotional pens arrived. They're bright green and proudly display my name and website. It was a minimal expense, and yes, it advertises me. Will I gain any sales from it? Maybe. But if not, I'll have gifted people with a handy writing utensil. I'll still try to promote myself and my books - I think not to would be going too far the other direction. I have to work at keeping people aware of me and what I do. If I didn't, it would just prove laziness and then no one at all would read my books, and that would be a shame if my purpose is to encourage someone.

In the end, we all have different marketing methods and different levels of enthusiasm. Me, I know a lot about marketing, and I can be good at it...it's just that usually I'd rather give blessings instead of earn a profit. As long as I have a different job that takes care of my everyday needs, I'll have a hard time selling my books. That's not to say I'll allow anybody to take advantage of my generosity - I do have limits and there are lines between being a miser and giving too much. But I think that line is in a different spot for everybody.

For me, I need to earn enough to keep on with this writing adventure. To keep on self-publishing. To continue getting the word out there that I've got something worth reading. That's why I charge for my books. Is it easy for me? Not at all. Do I like selling things? No. I just have to, in order to keep doing what I'm doing.

I'm a writer, not a salesman. I'm just thankful for the family and friends who are willing to speak loudly about me and my books so that others might gain interest. Then I might earn a couple bucks, and someone else might gain a smile. It's the smile that makes the work worth it.

Live Characters

I recently said in a Facebook post, "It's not so much of not knowing where the characters should go next, but more of trying to capture the essence of said characters as I take them to the next scene."

Writing fictional characters has to be one of my very favorite things to do. I love studying people and their behaviors, so creating a new being is extremely fun. I dissect personalities and character traits as much as I can, in order to paint an accurate and relatable picture for the reader. Sometimes, though, the characters become a problem within themselves.

While writing my current novel, I've come up with a handful of new characters. Their complete roles have yet to be seen, however, I'm getting a pretty good picture of where they'll come in later within the plot. Unfortunately, one of the hardest things to do is have the readers know the characters as well as I do. Sometimes, a character's personality is shown through a twinkle in their eye, or the tone of their laugh. Perhaps they have a certain quirk, or particular tells when it comes to their moods. So the problem isn't necessarily that I don't know where they're going next, but the desire to get them there on the wings of the reader's imagination.

There are a ton of helps and writing tips out there about how to develop characters. But for me, it really comes down to seeing them in my mind. I see my plots like movies playing out. I study not only the characters' words and actions, but their body language, tones and eye movements. How they relate to other characters. How they think. Not only their basic personalities, but what makes them tick - what their pasts are and how it affects their motives.

Helping my readers see what I do is the real trick, and as far as I'm concerned, there's no one formula for doing so. I have to read my own scenes as if I don't yet know the characters, to see if the picture is accurate. I have to bounce a character's behavior off someone else to see if it's realistic. Sometimes I go back several scenes to see how a character reacted to something, in order to maintain consistency. It can be a grueling task, and yet...it's still my favorite.

I'm pretty impatient when it comes to wanting to complete this manuscript. But, I know that the time and effort I'm pouring into these characters will be worth it in the end. Besides, what could be more fun than writing the personalities of a princess, a unicorn and an ancient race called Woodland Warriors?

Multiple Plots in a Busy Brain

A multitude of ideas, plots, characters and one-liners usually clog up the creative pathways in my brain. When someone asks if I'm working on a book, my simplest answer is, "Yes." My more complex answer would be, "Yes, actually, I'm working on a fantasy novel, from which the characters plague my mind day in and day out. I'm also working on another novel that's been on the back burner for several years, but the plot is still fresh in my mind. I'm also working on a devotion book which has reached its editing stage, and therefore haunts me daily because it really wouldn't take all that much effort to complete it. Oh, and I'm working on another devotion book too - it's just barely begun though, and as such, ideas are taking over any spare free space in my brain. And where you'd normally find some silence in one's mind, yeah, that's pretty much filled up too, with ideas for short stories or poems that constantly run in and out like a cat that doesn't know whether it wants to hunt mice or be lazy on the couch."

My mother asked me once how I kept everything straight. I don't remember my answer, but it was something like, "I dunno." My answer today would probably be the same. Having a busy mind as a writer has been a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I'm forever inundated with fresh ideas. A curse because while I'm being inundated with said ideas, whatever else I'm supposed to be doing at the moment (housework?) tends to go undone.

While sorting through the plethora of information though, I've come to love my busy brain. It might be frustrating to those who are waiting to see one of my projects come to completion, or those with whom I'm sharing chapters of my novel with as a write. But, while down times feel too quiet, in reality, my brain is anything but silent.

I've also come to realize that when I have a new idea or I'm inspired, that I should not hold onto it and wait until I finish another project - one that perhaps has grown stale or I'm struggling to complete. (I'm not saying this applies to all writing situations, especially ones with deadlines.) There's no point in spinning my wheels in the mud, when I have a new vehicle waiting out on the road. By the time I return, the mud will have dried and I'll be able to continue on my original route. The waiting time can be quite irritating to me (and others), but in the end, this plan of attack has far less stress, and far more opportunities for creativity.

Got an idea? Write it. I am.  

Emotional Storm

I looked out my window this evening to view dark rainclouds in the distance. I heard the sweet sound of rolling thunder and watched flashes of lightning. As a fan of thunderstorms, I was rather disappointed the system remained south. While enjoying the view though, I suddenly had the urge to write about it. Something. Anything. Maybe a poem. Maybe just a short ramble about what it was like. And then I realized...I was enjoying it so much, that I wasn't sure I could adequately put into words what the storm really did to me deep down.

That scenario has happened to me a lot. Sometimes I'd rather dismiss writing my feelings altogether because I believe I simply cannot write those emotions for which there are no words.Yet it's those very same times that if I do make the attempt, a very well-written piece has the potential of being born.

Whether it's a thunderstorm in the sky or a thunderstorm of the heart, emotions churn below the surface. They writhe under the pen, relentlessly clawing their way to the surface. It's those emotions that draw readers in. Grasp their hearts. It's those emotions that have the power to conjure tears or invoke laughter. They connect the writer to the readers. They make the reader feel whole. Human. Vulnerable. Powerful.

One cannot fear penning their emotions. For it is those very emotions that create a piece worth reading.

I looked out my window this evening to view dark rainclouds in the distance. I felt, for a moment, they mirrored my heart. The sun pierced the sky to warm the wall of clouds, but it only made them appear darker, just as laughter by another has the ability to inflict pain when falling upon a wounded soul.

Thunder rumbled like a far-off freight train collision and wind whipped through the trees with the speed of venomous serpents. My breath was taken away at the sheer beauty of the scene. It was a storm that pleased the eye yet had the power to destroy those in its path. I found myself longing to stand in its midst and feel the rain pelt my skin. I wanted to feel the wind and hear the thunder so close that it might bring deafness to my ears. So often in life, the intangible wreaks havoc - I wanted to feel the tangible, if only to be reminded that I'm alive. That even though my soul was numb, my body could still feel and prove that life still flowed through my veins.

The thunder grew distant, and I pried myself from the window. 

Beating or Joining Writer's Block

I watched a movie last night where an author was experiencing writer's block. She did everything from painting, to getting on her treadmill to performing an African dance, just to get her head back in the game. I can't say that I'm quite as exuberant when it comes to overcoming writer's block, but I do try a number of things to clear my mind.

Watching television can either be a help or a hindrance for me. If I'm trying to write, I need to shut it off so I can concentrate. But television or a movie does provide a nice break when I need it, and sometimes it can even feed me new ideas for plots or characters.

Sometimes I turn to my arts and crafts. I make different items like magnets and pendants using my own abstract art. I also create unique designs for t-shirts and the like, for writers, horse-lovers and more. Sketching is something I enjoy as well. Doing these creative activities gets me away from my book, but still keeps my brain active.

Having a flower garden provides me with a nice quiet outlet when needed. While pulling weeds can be somewhat of an annoyance, spending time outside in the fresh air helps me relax. Taking pictures of my flowers is fun as well, and again, it gives me something creative to do away from my writing.

Stress doesn't help my writing at all, so on those particularly hard days, a good physical workout can do the trick. Being involved in martial arts gives me many things to work on both mentally and physically and hitting a punching bag can often help relieve general stress.

There are a million and one things that a writer can do to get their mind back in the game, but sometimes writer's block persists no matter what we try. When those times occur, I try to allow myself to set my book aside and move on to something else until the creativity gets a jump start again. There have been times when my writer's block has lasted a few hours. Other times, it has lasted six months or more. While I try many different things to help keep my mind clear and concentrate on my book, I know that there are times when I need to sit back and allow the plot to simmer, knowing that the end result will be better if I let it be written in its own time.

Just a Casual Update

With a new season comes new inspiration. Or at least that's the way it should be, yes?

I love springtime because finally, finally, the snow and cold are gone. I find myself itching to clean, organize, and, of course, write. Thankfully, I have a perfect place to put my creative juices to use: my current novel.

As I look down at my last few posts (and realize, to my dismay, how little I've said here lately), I see it has been just over a year since I started my unnamed novel. Thankfully, after a long winter dry spell, I'm back into the swing of things, and also up to chapter twenty. My protagonist, Emeline, is progressing nicely, as are two of my main male characters, William and Aylwin. The plot has thickened as Emeline has been forced to flee for her life - not something one might envision when thinking about a princess.

All in all, I'm enjoying writing this fantasy plot immensely. While it's a new genre for me, and has presented some mind-stretching experiences, I love the limitlessness of forgetting about reality and simply basking in my own imagination.

On that same note, it is not only I working on this book, but my partner in creativity, Alicia Kraft. I may put the pen (or keyboard, as it were) to use, but she has provided countless hours of brainstorming and plot forming. She may believe I am joking when I say her name will be going on the cover along with mine. Little does she know that I am indeed going to insist credit where it is due.

I've been kept busy these past few months not only with writing, but with artwork and craft projects - something relatively new to my hobbies. And while I've been horrible and keeping up with this blog lately, I've done a better job on Facebook. So don't forget to visit me there too.

With plans to be back here soon, I'm off to another scene in my novel. My body may be ready for bed at this time of night, but my brain is far from it. Just one more sentence...