Today’s kitty antics are brought to you by Nitro, my critter child. From her own mind’s perspective, this is her typical morning…
I hear the covers rustling. She must be awake. Is she? Creeping closer. Closer. Her eyes are closed. Is she even alive? Sniffing her face just to make sure. Whoa! She’s got a wicked backhand. Good thing I’ve got “cat-like” reflexes. Baha! Well humph, she wasn’t really awake. I’m hungry. Should I try to get her up? After all, her alarm is going to ring in about fifteen minutes. She shouldn’t mind getting up that much earlier. I think I’ll pounce on her feet.
Oof! Glad I landed on my own feet. She’s got a mean kick, too. Still not awake? Surely she must be almost dead. I’ve gotta get back up there and check again. Watch the whiskers, watch the whiskers… Whew! She’s still breathing and I managed not to tickle her. Hey look! The covers are moving again! There must be some kind of squirmy creature under there! I shall pounce, grab, scrape and bite, so she’ll be proud of me for saving her life. Wee!
Oh.
That was her hand. Well, at least she opened her eyes. Wait, why is she putting a pillow over her head? Nooo! I want my breakfast! Yelling loudly in her ear won’t even work now. I suppose if she’s going to be that way, I’ll just go knock some things off the kitchen counter. That usually gets her up.
Did you know napkins in the garbage are one of my favorite toys? If I work hard enough, the paper multiplies…all over the carpet! Yippee!
What? What’s that? I finally hear her alarm! Yay! I’ll go greet her, for surely she’s…wait… what’s this? She shut it off, but is going back to sleep. I can’t let her do that! She’ll be late for work. Jumping on her head. Kneading her leg. Hollering directly into her ears, one at a time. Licking her nose (one of my favorites). Pawing (gently) at her face. Running across the bed in an unexplainable zigzag pattern. Get up, get up, get up!
Whoa! Her alarm again! Whoopsies…she was planning to get up all along. Smiling. Smiling. Looking cute. Widening my pupils so she’ll see my adorable eyes. I’ll kiss her on the cheek this time.
Ahhh…the bliss of her hand running up and down my back. She must like to hear me purr. And…and…she’s getting out of bed! Wahoo! Breakfast! Waiting at my bowl…waiting, waiting…and…she’s gone to take a shower. Seriously? After all that work, she takes her shower before feeding me?! I’ll go knock on the shower door to speed things up…
Sheesh, I guess she’s planning to do everything else before going to work, but is obviously forgetting to feed me, even though I’ve been complaining to her for the last half hour. She’s even got her shoes on and is ready to walk out the door! You can’t leave! I’m starving here!
Hooray! Food! Yes! Finally!!!
Was that the door closing? Oh, I guess she’s gone for the day. I was crunching too loudly to notice. And I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I’ll be sure to jump in her arms when she gets home tonight as an apology. She always likes that.
Huh…now that breakfast is over, I’ve gotta find something to occupy myself. Hey look… I think my human left her bedroom door open. Play time!
I hear the covers rustling. She must be awake. Is she? Creeping closer. Closer. Her eyes are closed. Is she even alive? Sniffing her face just to make sure. Whoa! She’s got a wicked backhand. Good thing I’ve got “cat-like” reflexes. Baha! Well humph, she wasn’t really awake. I’m hungry. Should I try to get her up? After all, her alarm is going to ring in about fifteen minutes. She shouldn’t mind getting up that much earlier. I think I’ll pounce on her feet.
Oof! Glad I landed on my own feet. She’s got a mean kick, too. Still not awake? Surely she must be almost dead. I’ve gotta get back up there and check again. Watch the whiskers, watch the whiskers… Whew! She’s still breathing and I managed not to tickle her. Hey look! The covers are moving again! There must be some kind of squirmy creature under there! I shall pounce, grab, scrape and bite, so she’ll be proud of me for saving her life. Wee!
Oh.
That was her hand. Well, at least she opened her eyes. Wait, why is she putting a pillow over her head? Nooo! I want my breakfast! Yelling loudly in her ear won’t even work now. I suppose if she’s going to be that way, I’ll just go knock some things off the kitchen counter. That usually gets her up.
Did you know napkins in the garbage are one of my favorite toys? If I work hard enough, the paper multiplies…all over the carpet! Yippee!
What? What’s that? I finally hear her alarm! Yay! I’ll go greet her, for surely she’s…wait… what’s this? She shut it off, but is going back to sleep. I can’t let her do that! She’ll be late for work. Jumping on her head. Kneading her leg. Hollering directly into her ears, one at a time. Licking her nose (one of my favorites). Pawing (gently) at her face. Running across the bed in an unexplainable zigzag pattern. Get up, get up, get up!
Whoa! Her alarm again! Whoopsies…she was planning to get up all along. Smiling. Smiling. Looking cute. Widening my pupils so she’ll see my adorable eyes. I’ll kiss her on the cheek this time.
Ahhh…the bliss of her hand running up and down my back. She must like to hear me purr. And…and…she’s getting out of bed! Wahoo! Breakfast! Waiting at my bowl…waiting, waiting…and…she’s gone to take a shower. Seriously? After all that work, she takes her shower before feeding me?! I’ll go knock on the shower door to speed things up…
Sheesh, I guess she’s planning to do everything else before going to work, but is obviously forgetting to feed me, even though I’ve been complaining to her for the last half hour. She’s even got her shoes on and is ready to walk out the door! You can’t leave! I’m starving here!
Hooray! Food! Yes! Finally!!!
Was that the door closing? Oh, I guess she’s gone for the day. I was crunching too loudly to notice. And I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I’ll be sure to jump in her arms when she gets home tonight as an apology. She always likes that.
Huh…now that breakfast is over, I’ve gotta find something to occupy myself. Hey look… I think my human left her bedroom door open. Play time!
Think she'll notice I got in the pantry?
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