Foggy with a chance of inspiration

I've struggled to blog lately. Even with all of my kitty adventures, ninja episodes and spider attacks, formulating words in a manner others would enjoy has been rather difficult. I blame it on a lack of inspiration. A lack of time. The weather is to blame for an awful lot of things that happen in my life, too, by the way.)

The thing is, some days, I'm just too overwhelmed to pour out any more of...me. I'm empty. I've spent the day performing my job, driving, talking, thinking, planning, imagining, holding my tongue, and worrying - much more than I should. When I get home, I flop down on the couch, pet my purring kitty, and fall asleep to the sound of The Andy Griffith Show on the television.

Not every day is like that, granted. I have days stuffed full of energy and inspiration that carry me from 5:45am to 11:00pm. Generally speaking though, it's usually 6:10 til about 9:00pm and I'm ready to crash. So fitting in a new blog post that will make people laugh or think in any way, shape or form can simply take too much energy.

This past week has kind of been like a very long, stretched-out, "one of those" days. I used to have a poster on my wall of a tired-looking bulldog. The text read, "It's been one of those days all week." That's been me since, oh, Monday afternoon. No tragedies. No mass trauma. Not even any real emergencies. Just a lot of little, itty-bitty things piled one on top of the other.

Included in those little things was an inner voice - one that kept telling me there was no point. No point in trying to do my best any more. No point in doing what I liked. No point in trying to go beyond what was required of me. I was tired. Simply tired of being and thinking at all. Yesterday was the worst. Nothing seemed to go right, and to top it off, my spirits were too low to handle it. It's a good thing I didn't have any comfort food around my apartment last night, or it would ALL be gone.

This morning, things felt just a bit brighter. Not so many things broke, I wasn't (quite) as tired, and I had the energy to keep putting one foot in front of the other. It helped, knowing that tonight I was getting treated to a fish fry, courtesy of my brother and his wife, but for whatever reason, my spirits simply didn't feel as heavy.

Later, I read a friend's blog post and realized that my "issue" was more widespread than just me. I realized that I needed to open my eyes just a bit more and start thinking clearly again. I wasn't the only one battling life. While caught in my miserable fog, I forgot the key factor to finding clarity - I've got Someone fighting for me. I've got God in my corner. Part of my week - my fog - was due to a spiritual battle. I'm not saying that satan deliberately caused paper jams or corrupted my computer files - but I'm sure he had a hand in how I felt -  what my emotions were doing. He was the one whispering to me that there wasn't any point in driving forward any more. And I had forgotten this. I'd become so focused on ME, that I hadn't stopped to think about the One who was there for me.

Duh.

No matter what was going through my head when everything seemed to be going wrong, I should have remembered to just quit thinking so much and remind myself that I matter to God. He cares about me. Loves me, even. I'm worth far more to Him than I realize, even when I mess up. He's got a purpose for me here, even when I'm too tired to see it. He cares about me enough to have lifted the fog this morning, even though I was slow on the uptake.

This knowledge doesn't always make the battle easier. I still get super tired. But it does make the battle more hopeful. God will win out in the end. Lots of ick can happen in between, but He's got this. I may die for my faith one day - who knows? I may suffer a gruesome fate. But for me, that's not the end.

I need to work on thinking of these things more. When the fog starts to settle, even if my emotions are off the charts, I need to remember God's in my corner, and I need to talk to Him instead of just myself and that inner voice that likes to lie to me.

The blog post that started this whole train of thought is here:
http://auggment.me/i-hate-your-blog/
As far as I'm concerned, his post today had great purpose just for me - but I'm sure it will reach many more.

I hope you have God in your corner like I do. If not, hit me up. Let's talk.

Have a blessed weekend.


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