You've probably heard the old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." While I understand the meaning, I also know that statement is not entirely true. Words may never cause physical harm, but they can wreak havoc on a person's psyche, which sometimes can even be worse than a physical beating.
Maybe that's why I'm a writer - I understand the importance of words. What comes out of our mouths, or what is typed out in emails, blogs or text messages, is so very, very important. Even the stupid or silly things we sometimes say. One wrong word can be that first proverbial domino in a long line of catastrophic events, one leading on to the next with increasing speed. We can't always predict how a person is going to react to what we say - granted. But that doesn't give us permission to say whatever we want, however we want, without thinking beforehand.
More often than not, we, as humans, speak (or type) "without thinking." The thing is, we DO think. Claiming we put forth words without thinking is claiming our tongues or fingers create communication involuntarily - that we are without blame because we just couldn't help it. Obviously, this is false. What IS true is that we often speak without thinking through everything we say. We think about it, even if it only takes a split second, but what we fail to do is weigh the consequences of our word choices. And believe it or not, it doesn't take much longer to think that far ahead.
Often times, we don't mean to harm the person we're talking to, and we may even be joking. But the knife is still sharp enough to cut. I could list seven hundred, fifty-two phrases and/or situations where words aren't meant to cause harm, yet they do. But I'm pretty sure you already know what I'm talking about, so I'll spare you the task of reading through all of them. My point is, we have to be careful. We should be careful - it's just the right thing to do.
Carelessness has created wounds that take years to heal. We all falter - even me. But I do try. I try to think through what I say/type. I try to think about how the other person is going to feel. Will they get my sense of humor or will they take it as an insult? Will they be encouraged at my attempted praise, or will they be left feeling stupid because my word choice was poor? A backhanded compliment may be a compliment, but sometimes the recipient gets knocked over by the backhand. Will my sarcasm be recognized, or will my intentions be misinterpreted? Will my words spoken in anger really get my point across, or will they just crush my opponent's heart? I may be right, but will pointing it out really improve anything or will it just make the other person feel stupid? Will flippantly calling someone a name be considered funny, or will it only serve to hurt feelings?
We all have mouths big enough to insert our feet every once in a while. And sometimes it IS the other person's fault for believing non-existent insinuations. But that doesn't give us an excuse for carelessness. We are all responsible for what we say and how we say it.
Words will never break bones. But they have the power to break hearts and crush spirits - intentionally or unintentionally. Are you upset enough that you truly want to wound a person that deeply? Are you flippant enough that you truly don't care if your silly comment actually destroys another person's confidence?
There are plenty of places for frivolity. I couldn't exist without humor, and I thrive on sarcasm. I just have to know when and where it's appropriate, and I have to always remember to whom I'm speaking/typing. Encouraging one another is a lot more fun than tearing each other down (whether on purpose or by accident.)
Our words reflect who we are. Our words give the world a glimpse into our hearts. Who do you want the world to see when you speak?
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