Why do you write? Money vs. Purpose

Thankfully, I have a full-time job that pays my bills. I have, however, dreamed of one day being able to make a living off my writing. Couldn't I just write one best-seller novel? I start to salivate just thinking about it. Unfortunately, the more I dwell on that thought, the more that same old pride comes sneaking in through the back door.

Whether looking at my books or my shorter pieces, people often ask me if I'm making money off of my writing. And I have to admit that sometimes it's hard for me to tell them no, I barely make enough to buy myself lunch at Burger King every once in a while. I have a full-time job for a reason.

I can hardly imagine what it would be like to make money on my writing. But whenever I let myself focus on the income, the same thing always happens - my true purpose becomes clouded. Suddenly I "have" to write instead of wanting to. Suddenly I'm trying to make a buck instead of trying to inspire someone. Sure, I love receiving a royalty check! But should it be my goal?

"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil." I know a lot of people might take that Bible verse to the extreme, but that's not my point. (I'm also not in any way trying to knock professional writers. That's fantastic that they can make a living off their writing - kudos to them! If it weren't for them, we wouldn't have much to read!) For someone like me, who has been blessed with financial income by another means, wanting to make money from my writing can really start to steer me in the wrong direction. I begin to be frustrated when something isn't published. Or I might be frustrated if it is published but with no compensation. My want for money breeds frustration which breeds dissatisfaction. Then where is God? I've lost sight of Him and His reason for giving me the gift of writing in the first place.

When money is the focus, the real purpose, for me, is lost. I no longer write for my readers but I write for myself. My motive becomes a selfish one, resulting in dissatisfaction in my own writings, stress and lack of passion.

I realize that for some, writing IS their main source of income, and if they can make it work, more power to them. For me though, as long as God is taking care of me through other means, my writing can't become the bread-winner, lest I fall prey to greed.

My purpose is to write. Period.

Why do you write? Passion vs. Acknowledgement

So I figured out how to conquer my pride while writing my books. (See post below.) What about my shorter pieces? What about my poems? Devotionals? Short stories?

Once again, I found myself in the mud and mire of pride. This time though, it was a little different. Sometimes only a few people even see the shorter pieces I write. Sometimes I'm the only one that sees them. And there are some days that I stop and wonder what the point is, if no one reads them.

I've been involved with different writing groups that encourage the publication of writings. That's great. Everyone wants to see their writings in print, other than from their own personal printer. But for me, problems arose when I began to feel badly that I had nothing published during a certain length of time. I looked around and saw people whose complete purpose in writing was to be published, whether it was a book or a short article. If it was written, it needed to be published. I found myself feeling like the kid in the back of the room that hadn't yet bought the new toy everyone else had. It was almost a feeling of shame for not having gone out and contacted publications and sent out queries.

Once again, I had to take a step back and ask myself the same old question: Why was I writing? Why was I writing these short stories? Poems? Devotionals? If I visited one of my online writing groups, I'd be told to find a magazine, newspaper - anything! Just get my work out there and be seen. I suppose if my goal was to get my name out there, then that would be a logical place to start. But it just didn't feel right.

Why was I writing? I realized that I was writing simply because it's my passion. I don't care how many people read my poems. I don't care how many people read my short stories. God gave me a talent and all He's told me to do is write. Sure, if I ever do want other people to see what I write, then I have to get off my duff and work at it. But it shouldn't be my goal and certainly shouldn't be a stress factor. If God wants my articles to succeed in that manner, He will lead me.

When I look back over the last year and see how few writings of mine that have come to publication, my human reaction is to be depressed over it. I feel as though I have accomplished nothing. Well, that's stupid. Honestly. I have written a ton of short stories, poetry and more. I write almost every day. I have plot lines galore running through my head. I have poems and songs that I never even intend for the public to see. And I look down on myself for not accomplishing anything? It's at that point that I once again realize I let pride get in the way.

I write because it's my passion. I love it. God gave me a gift and I need to use it. What happens after that is up to Him.

Why do you write? The Many vs. The Few

I have a pride issue. It wasn't until recently that I finally realized and admitted it. Since then, it's become less of a problem, though I still battle it now and again, attempting to conquer it each time.

The realization of pride came about when I was, once again, debating what to do with a future novel of mine. I knew the plot I wanted to write. A third of the book was written already. I had everything laid out and ready to finish writing it. But I began to focus on the end result - the end result after "the end." Of course, my first desire was to dream of the book's publication. Those dreams were quickly shot down by my own realism though, as I thought about my last book that I self-published. That accomplishment is nothing to sneeze at, of course, though like most writers, I still wished for a "real" publisher. I hadn't had any luck thus far though, so my hopes for this newest novel of mine were quickly diminishing. I could self-publish again, no problem. But if I did, I'd be paying out of pocket... again. I'd be doing all the promotion myself... again. I'd be sitting at home with several boxes leftover of books I couldn't sell... again.

And then it hit me. Why was I writing this book? I first tried to justify my thoughts by reminding myself that if I were not to be published by a publishing house then I wouldn't have as many readers. And my goal was to have readers, right? But then I realized that even that theory was weak. Who was I to limit God? He could just as easily spread my book through self-publishing as He could through a big-house publisher. I was back to square one with my inner battle.

Why was I writing this book? I'd thought it was so I could find a publisher then reach a large audience. The problem was, that without believing that could happen, I lost my motivation to write. I "knew" I wouldn't be able to snag a publisher - I'd been ignored with my past attempts with various novels of mine. So what was the point?

Then God showed me His reason for me to complete my novel. It wasn't so I could become a famous author. It wasn't so I could reach millions. The answer was this: I was writing that book so that I could reach one. One person. One heart. It wouldn't matter if that person bought my book off the shelf of a big bookstore, or if they were given one of my draft copies, printed off from my computer. The reason for me writing my book was for one person to read it. Somehow, somewhere, there would be one person touched by the story I told.

After that, I was able to continue writing my novel. With my motives back where they belonged, the inner peace was back.

For me, writing my books can't be about the large audience, bookstores, booksignings, or even publication at all. It has to be about the story and about that one person who it is for - the one person for whom God will use my book, or rather, His book. If a big-house publisher publishes my book, fantastic. If ten thousand and one people read my book, fantastic. But for me, it all has to be icing on the cake, not my main goal. Otherwise I lose sight of my purpose and my passion dies.