The Art of Conversation: An Oxymoron

What ever happened to the art of conversation? While some people seem to have carried this skill set through the generations, others have demonstrated that somewhere along the way, society has forgotten how to communicate more than short sentences and acronyms at a time.

Some people might blame the loss of true conversation on technology. Some people might blame it on busy schedules. Still others might blame it on lack of necessity. Me? I think laziness has a lot to do with it.

Now, how that laziness has evolved could be one or many things, and for each person the answer might be different. Personally, I think technology has played a big part. Take texting, for example. If two people text all day, when they actually see each other at the end of that day, what's left to talk about? It would almost be easier to sit across the table from each other and text a few more silly comments than actually participate in a verbal conversation. This isn't new either. I've seen commercials on television that advertise good meals to try and coax people to converse as they eat instead of texting each other. Still other commercials have demonstrated verbal chatspeak, which not only is confusing, but inadequate when it comes to true conversation.

"Hi." "How are you?" "Good. How are you?" "Fine." "What's up?" "Nothing." And the conversation is over. Now wait a minute. If that takes place between two strangers, fine. But if two people are friends, there's an awful lot lacking there. Where's the meat? Where's the information on how they're really doing? What's going on in their life? How can you relate to each other? What common experiences can you draw from?

It used to be that if we wanted to keep up a relationship with someone, we were forced to gather our thoughts before dialing a phone, or, imagine this - write an actual letter! Now that takes thought! Back before we had all these handy dandy devices to assist in quick messages, we were much more apt to give someone details about what was happening in our lives - otherwise it wasn't worth the time to sit down and write. We wanted to make it worth our while - and worth their while to read.

Unfortunately, the ability and ease of communication in general has caused a conversational breakdown. Seems to be an oxymoron. We post one-liners on Facebook, text a few words at a time, and emails may or may not consist of much more than a brief answer to a question. But are we really sharing with each other? What happened to lengthy chats about family, weather or jobs? Now I'm not saying everyone has fallen prey to the shallowness of technologically advanced messages. There are those who take full advantage of technology in order to communicate better, not just more quickly. But when I look at the broad picture, I see a generation that is quickly destroying itself by forgetting how to have a good old fashioned conversation.

The solution? Maybe we need to learn to slow down a little bit. Maybe we need to be a little less protective of what's on our minds. Maybe we need to relearn how to actually use our voice to converse with someone.

Will society fall to pieces because we're all texting and sending instant messages now? I doubt it. But I do think we're losing a precious art that is much more fulfilling than brief messages full of acronyms. Try having a real conversation - maybe over a cup of coffee. Can't hurt, and you might actually enjoy it.