Using and For

This morning on the way to work, I heard a song on the radio that I'd heard before but never really paid much attention. I realized today that the point was, wherever you're at in life or whatever you're doing, as long as you're doing it for the Lord, then yes, it matters. It made me think about my writing.

For years, I have said that my main point is to use the talent God has given me. In my mind, using what He gave me and writing for Him were one in the same. And yet, I often felt a void anyway. I often felt as though what I was doing was pointless. I'd write and write and write and use my God-given talent, yet feel as though it was worthless because I didn't necessarily see it going anywhere. I didn't always see anybody who really cared or anyone who was touched by my words. So I'd complain to God and beg Him to show me where He wanted me to go with my writing. I'd always believed that since I was using my talent, that it meant I was writing for God. Therefore, the lack of direction was frustrating.

This morning, it hit me. There's a different between simply using my gift and using it for the Lord. A picture formed in my mind of a child creating a crude drawing with crayons just for her daddy. Running to him with the finished product, her face beams with pride as she presents her masterpiece of scribbles. And even if Daddy doesn't know what the picture is supposed to be, his heart swells with love and he adores the fact that his daughter has drawn something just for him. Have her efforts been in vain just because the masses will not see her artwork? Of course not! Was her usage of artistic expression pointless because she drew only for her Daddy and no one else? By no means! At the same time, would she have been honoring her Daddy if she had drawn a picture then threw it away because no one would care anyway? Of course not!

New light has been shed on my writing. Perhaps my focus was out of focus all along. Perhaps using a talent God gave me for others shouldn't have been the point. What I need to do is use the talent He gave me for Him. Period. If He so chooses to bless others with what I write, then so be it. But my satisfaction must come from simply knowing I have presented my best to God - not from how many people like what I wrote. Does that mean I shouldn't ever write for anyone else? No - I may still gain joy from seeing someone who is touched by my writing or someone who truly enjoys something I've written for them. But, more importantly, my writing is a part of me being a living sacrifice to God. Presenting my work to Him first and foremost is the only thing that will truly fulfill my desires.